


if it means a lot to you

by brainflower



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kissing, M/M, blink and you'll miss it levi/erwin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28908267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainflower/pseuds/brainflower
Summary: "Don’t you trust me?” Levi asks.“Of course I do,” Eren says. “But you need to look after yourselves as well, you can’t have all of your focus on protecting me at all times.” Levi nods in agreement and Eren continues. “And it’s because I trust you so much that I couldn’t ask this of anyone else.”-Or, Eren's afraid their upcoming mission could end badly. He asks Levi for a favor.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	if it means a lot to you

**Author's Note:**

> i watched every episode of aot twice in one week so here's this.  
> don't ask me what this is about or when it takes place because i don't know.  
> warning for discussing death, but no one actually dies in this fic.

“Are you just going to stand there peeking through the crack in my door all day, or are you going to come in?”

Eren’s back goes ramrod straight at the sound of Levi’s voice, though he shouldn’t be surprised that Levi knew he was there, their Captain has always had eyes in the back of his head. 

Levi turns around as Eren slowly pushes his way into the room and he sets down the file in his hand. He studies the worried and somewhat frightened look on Eren’s face. “What is it, Yeager? It’s late, you should be resting.”

Eren clears his throat and nudges the door closed behind him, waiting to hear the soft click of the latch before he speaks. “I’m sorry to bother you, Captain Levi. I just wanted to ask you for a favor,” Eren says. Levi offers nothing more than a quirked eyebrow as a sign for him to continue. “I’m sure you know as well as I do that, if our plan fails, things could end very, very badly tomorrow,” Eren says slowly. 

Levi’s expression doesn’t change, however Eren swears he sees the slightest twitch in the man’s eyes. “I’m confident our squad can handle the mission,” Levi says.

“As am I, sir. I’m only suggesting there could be unforeseen obstacles. We’ll be in a village that’s unfamiliar to us. We have to be prepared for the worst,” Eren says, his voice getting softer by the end of his sentence. 

Levi crosses his arms over his chest and takes a step toward Eren. “And what exactly do you think ‘the worst’ could be?” 

Eren casts his gaze down to the floor, afraid to look his Captain in the eyes. “If I were to be captured and inevitably eaten.”

He hears Levi’s footsteps as he comes closer, stopping in front of Eren with a sigh. Levi places a hand softly on Eren’s shoulder and waits for Eren to meet his eyes. “You can’t always be thinking like this, Eren. It’s not wise or safe to go into battle with this mindset all the time. Don’t you trust your comrades to keep you safe? Don’t you trust  _ me _ ?” Levi asks. 

“Of course I do,” Eren says. “But you need to look after yourselves as well, you can’t have all of your focus on protecting me at all times.” Levi nods in agreement and Eren continues. “And, Levi, er- sorry, sir-“

“Levi is fine,” Levi says quietly.

Eren’s eyes widen and he clears his throat. “Levi. It’s because I trust you so much that I couldn’t ask this of anyone else.”

Levi furrows his brow and squeezes Eren’s shoulder. 

“If things take a turn for the worst, if the squad needs to retreat and get themselves to safety, if the smartest option is to leave me behind…” Eren says with tears welling up in his eyes. “I want you to kill me, Captain.”

Levi’s expression turns darker than Eren has seen it in a long time. “What?” he snaps. 

“I’d rather be killed by one of you than tortured and eaten by one of them,” Eren explains. “If they obtain the founding and attack titan, who knows what they’ll do to all of you? To all of humanity? We can’t allow that to happen.”

“I’m not going to kill you, you fucking brat, because it will never reach that point,” Levi spits. 

“But what if it does?” Eren asks quietly. 

“I  _ won’t  _ allow it to reach that point.” Levi’s voice leaves no room for disagreement, but that’s never stopped Eren in the past. 

“I could never ask Mikasa to do this. She would get herself killed trying to kill everyone else before she would ever willingly kill me-”

“Yeager-”

“Armin would be too hysterical, though I’m sure if it came down to his titan eating me I’m sure he could do it with some convincing-”

“Eren-”

“Jean would do it no questions asked but quite frankly I’d rather kill  _ myself _ than ever give him the satisfaction-”

Levi shoves him harshly in the chest. “God dammit, Yeager, will you shut the fuck up for a second?!” He yells. Eren snaps his mouth shut and Levi pinches the bridge of his nose. He lets out a long sigh and asks, “But why me?”

“It’s like I said,” Eren says quietly. “You’re the only one I trust enough. If it comes down to protecting your squad and doing what’s best for humanity, I know you can do it. I doubt you have any positive feelings towards me that you would allow to get in the way,” he laughs humorlessly. 

It’s quiet, just the sound of their breathing and the wind outside. Eren picks at his nails out of nervousness and tries not to focus too much on Levi’s eyes burning into his head. 

After a long moment, Levi says, “Eren, look at me.” 

Eren looks at his Captain and his breath catches at the soft expression on Levi’s face. Levi takes a step forward and brings both hands up to cradle Eren’s jaw, his grey eyes boring into Eren’s green ones. “You know I care for you, you brat,” he whispers. “After all this time, how could I not?”

A few tears finally escape Eren’s eyes and he tries his best to blink them away, a sad smile on his face. “Not as much as you cared for him,” he says. 

Levi sighs, his left hand sliding down to rest on the nape of Eren’s neck, fingers tangling in his long hair. “You need a haircut.”

Before Eren has a chance to reply, Levi tugs him down gently to press their lips together. Eren goes tense for a split second before relaxing, his arms winding around Levi’s waist as he kisses back desperately. 

Of all the possible scenarios Eren has come up with in his head over the years about kissing Captain Levi, starting back when they first met, when Eren was just a kid with a crush, to now, when he’s 20 and has realized his feelings are much stronger than that, he never imagined it would be after asking Levi to take his life. 

Eren clutches Levi’s hips so tightly that if it were anyone else he’d be afraid they’d break, his tears are flowing so freely now that he’s shaking in Levi’s arms, sobbing into his mouth, “Please, Levi. You have to promise me you’ll do this.”

“I won’t have to, Eren-“

“No,” Eren says and he pulls away from Levi’s mouth, staring at him with wide, watery eyes. “Promise me, Captain.”

Levi presses their foreheads together and sighs. “Okay.” He kisses Eren again. “Okay. I promise.” 

Eren chokes on a sob, murmuring a quiet ‘thank you’ between every slide of their lips as a fresh wave of tears tread down his face. Levi kisses Eren until his sobs turn into soft hiccups and his breathing slows to a normal rate. He kisses Eren until his tear stains dry and mesh with the faint scars around his eyes from his titan form. He kisses Eren like he’s trying to say everything neither one of them has had the courage to say in the past year, because neither one of them believe they deserve happiness after everything they’ve done. 

Levi kisses Eren like it’s the last chance he’ll get, because it very well might be.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/straycitys).


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